but when u see the $$$, all the tireness is worthwhile…

but realli tired.. not sure is it due to my age.

last but not least to take good care of my parents and my husband’s parents..

it may sound like a xiao nv ren life.. but it actually very difficult to have.. but i will try my best to achieve this..

hehe……

wenya jia you……..

like asking him if he have eaten…

did he slp well…

like wan to make him as my priorty..

but baby said he felt very weird.. and he is not sure if he will find mi naggy or not..

aft hearing his comment..

i tink i shld jus stay as normal..

don’t tink of treating him better bah.. lol

he reminded mi of sth…. he said if alvin explained properly can la….

it actually mean that if baby explain to my parent i will be able to stay out late… or stay over….

but it make mi ponder??? will baby do that for mi again…..

as time goes by… baby seem to be less patient towards explaining things like going out late or bringing mi out to my parents lately…..

he will jus take it as i cfm cannot go due to the fact that my parents won’t let mi go…..

unlike the past him.. who will try his very best to explain it to my parents.. persuaing thm to  let mi join him go out late either with him or frenz or his family…

suddenly felt that baby starting to treat my present and my stituation as per normal or even taking it for granted…

i miss the past baby………..

but i will survive well with the current baby too.. i have to grow up more mentally… jia you wenya!!!!

i was having mense.. hence my temper is very back. plus my mood swing is super terrible..

thn being said by mt relative for not being the best child od my mother…as we didn’t put her as priorty.. making mi super upset..

but i’m so glad that baby is always by my side during this up and down… despite the fact that i vent myy temper at him.. he is still there for mi… trying to stat reason for mi and explaining in all his might… just hoping that i will understand……

lenting mi his shoulder to cry when i’m realli crying like no ppl business.. all this little and little things.. do let mi find back the feeling i lost for him..  but i felt that i have become a weak and dependent person.. i hope that i can be that strong wenya again.. but can i?????

baby jus left my hse.. he came over my hse… as i reali miss mi a lots.. reali felt baby put in a lot of effort for mi.. he came all the way down to find mi despite being very tired from the genting trip, my staying over at his hse, his post camp and dancing lesson..

where can i find such a great bf ever…. but i’m so sad when he said that he feel disgusting for the tone i use to desribe Eileen.. but he nv thot of the fact that i’m jus showing him the real feeling i have..

i feel that i’m being very truthful to show it to him instead of jus hidding behind of him and do all those small actions…

i did tok to her in a very nice and chen xin despite of my feeling.. and baby is angry over mi for using that disgusting tone.. i feel reali sad as he think mi as this type of ppl…

but i try to coax him a little.. he seem to be ok for awhile…

but when he is abt to leave.. he was unhappy abt the way i untied his cable wire(the cable that for his lappy). i don’t understand but was unable to ask.. as i was on the phone with aishah… thn baby left…

abt 15 min later.. received a call from baby.. asking if he had left his wallet at my place.. i replied him yes when i turn over and saw the wallet still lying nicely on my hse floor.. and baby is somewhere near orchard le.. he voice was so pek chei.. my first thot was i have to send the wallet down to him.. so he can pay his cab fee… my second thot is baby is getting more angry now….

i’m sry that i was over my phone toking with aishah(for the ward chalet) and didn’t check if baby took everything earlier on…  suddenly i have the feeling it all my fault.. and all the if only i nv ask him to come.. if only i nv tok over the phone.. if only i check the place for him.. if only.. if only.. if only and more…

now.. aftering knowing that his brother will be there hlping him to pay the taxi fair… i wan to send his wallet over to him early in the morning the coming morning.. i know that he will be very sian and hopeless if he didn’t have his wallet with him……….

i hope that i can be a better time keeper for baby… be the best hse keeper.. be the most caring soul mate…. be his left and right hands…. i don’t want to be his hinder

wenya have to grow up in her mentally… can’t always reply on baby all the time..

love is sth that is hard to catch.. when the feeling is gone. it will be gone.. no point trying to keep it with u….

so wenya.. u have learn to let go and be less zhi zhuo abt it….

thn i told him that becuz i was more polite towards him.. thn he joke and said isit becuz i went out to find other guys..

inside my heart i was thinking.. of course i won’t lae..  no guys want mi too… hehe…. plus my heart can’t have other guys too…hehe..

Thn baby said my attitude towards him change after he came back from thailand.. thn i stated to think may be it becuz baby have neglect mi.. that why my attitude towards him have change..

i have forgotten the feeling of love he have for mi.. that y i become so polite towards him… maybe it is… but i will tey my best to earn back that feeling….

isit??? lol….

but i tink is more of truthful to urself first….becuz u shld follow wat ur heart wants.. and not wat ur brain is thinking..

happy that i have celebrated baby bdae!! get to cute  cake with his family.. happy that baby enjoy that food i cook..

today is our first year anniversary… not sure wat will baby will do for mi..or am i thinking to much.. hehe.

will jus see how he will react lar…. yes!! finally he is coming to my hse instead of mi going over lor.. happy..

the sad sad thing is that baby didn’t contact mi at all today.. hai.. which make mi feel even more lonely…

finally recieved a call from baby telling mi that he is about to drive into malaysia le… felt even more lonely.. becuz baby’s voice sound so in the rush of hanging up the phone..

even though i’m lonely.. i still hope that baby will be able to enjoy the fun today wor.. Since he has been busy doing all his work for so so long…

will soon go and develop all the photos that i have choose… and chop chop make it into sth…..i will go and learn a meal for baby…and get him a durian cake for the day…

so wenya jia you kay…. hehe…

tired!!!

one part of me is hoping that he will visit this site, but one part of me is hoping that he don’t read all this stupid stuff..

anyway.. i find that i’m very unreasonable toward baby wor..keep on showing him my temper..aiyo.. i will try to change for our relationship de kay..so got to learn to:

face it,

stay clam

solve it..

i wan to be a good ger for baby.. since baby is doing so much for mi too..

anyway.. valentine day is coming…his bdae is coming and our anniversary is coming too..

y all so near.. jus came to realise it.. lol…. so this the month that i have to squeeze all my brain juice jus to think of wat things to buy or do for dear.. wenya shall jia you wor.. so can give baby surprise.. hehe